"Death is always a surprise, even when it is expected, and it is a painful reminder that we don't have forever to show those we love how much we really care about them. Don't put it off till its too late. Tomorrow is too long to wait."
I know it inevitably happens to all of us but it still hurts so bad. The man I have considered my Dad passed away this morning. No, not my biological father. But, the man that hugged and tickled me as a child. The man who showed me what a real man should be. He is the one that I have set my sights out for when I pursue a relationship. He was the man who was going to give me away if I ever get married. He was my Dad.
He was the kindest, funniest hardworking man I have ever had the pleasure of being around. Both he and his wife (Yvonne) taught me about family and the love that love endures. Yvonne lost her husband of 45 years this morning. It was her birthday on Wednesday just gone. I knew deep down inside that he would go a few days after. He was her best friend and he had to be here for her birthday. I hope one day to have a love and a friend just like there’s!.
I have know about his condition since April 2008. He had stomach cancer. By the time he was diagnosed it was inoperatible. I went that morning and had his initial tattooed on my right hand. My way of feeling like he is ALWAYS with me.
A lot changed for me from when I found out. I have this strange inner sense that every now and again comes to the front. Back in April in the middle of the night when I was in Orlando something disturbed my sleep. I had this deep feeling that was forcing me to phone my sister. It was that day she told me the news.
This morning at 2am I got that feeling again. I turned on my phone and had a message from a family friend. I just knew what she was going to tell me.
I admit I have been the biggest whimp all through this summer. I didn’t go to see him until the Friday before I left. This is something that I will have to deal with and justify only to myself. In some ways the time I spent with him that Friday was enough for me. It changed me immensely. I sat in the hospital and was once again taken back to being a child. I held his hand for nearly 3 hours. He stroked the back of my hand with his thumb the same way I remembered as a child. Even though I never said it he knew I had come to say goodbye. I didn’t care about how he looked to me he was still the same STRONG, GREAT man that I love and remember as a child.
I arrived in the USA on Thursday afternoon. Right now I just want to get on the first plane and go home. I’m on the other side of the world by myself trying desperately to deal with this which is why I decided to write what I'm feeling and date stamp it. That way this moment will never be forgotten.
I know he wants me to be right where I am right now. In my last phone conversation with him days before I left he told me to go. I said ok and ended the convo by saying ‘I’ll see you later’.
So Reggie Baker I say it again ‘ I’ll see you later and thank you for everything that you did to make me the person I am. I love you with all my heart ‘
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